Let’s have a conversation about doubt. It’s one of those emotions that everyone can relate to, it can slowly seep into every corner of your life and can sometimes be hard to let go of. It can drive you to make (or not to make) decisions in your life on a daily basis. It can be a good thing: it allows us to drive positive decision making and steer us away from a potentially bad decision. It can also be a bad thing: it can limit your ability to take risk and attempt something that you really want.
I don’t pretend to know everything when it comes to solving doubt and anxiety problems. On the contrary, I am probably one of the worst when it comes to handling these tough emotions. Starting an open and honest conversation is extremely beneficial in helping to look past the immediate and keep a good perspective.
I recently have been having doubt in many aspects of my life. I tend to let things snowball into an avalanche by the time I am done analyzing it. If it starts with one thing, it moves onto the next and onto the next. Part of it may be warranted and necessary for my personal growth, but most of it is hindering my ability to live a positive care-free life in this immediate moment.
The problem with doubt is this: it starts with comparison. You doubt yourself because you don’t believe that you could possibly be as good as someone else. You can’t doubt yourself without having some image of what you think your life should be.
It’s so easy for people (these days especially) to be like “it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks!”. “Live your life the way you want!!” But the truth is that for many of us, other people’s opinions and actions do matter. Whether or not we have outward jealousy or appreciation or respect for whatever it is we are trying to achieve, it all boils down to comparison.
So, since we can’t possibly get rid of comparison in our lives (it’s inevitable here people), what can we do to ease this doubt? It all boils down to building healthy, positive relationships with yourself and with others. Give yourself credit when you deserve it, try not to be so hard on yourself based on your comparison standards, and try to keep things in perspective. Am I really doing as badly as I think or am I blowing this out of proportion again? Is something else negative affecting the way I am viewing this?
Surround yourself with positive people. If someone at work or at home is helping to cultivate doubt in your mind, let them go. Slowly stop engaging in the conversations that you know too well end up leaving you stuck in a bad place (even if this person means to or not). Is making this person happy more important than making myself happy?
My hope is that eventually I will get better at having perspective. It’s not easy and requires active effort everyday, but that perspective is what is going to keep daily life seemingly more care-free.